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I've learned a tid-bit in my {admittedly still young} career as a mother that seems to work WONDERS to battle against the gimmie craze. Two simple words have become my Christmas gift giving mantra:
OBSERVATION
&
MODERATION
Rather than waiting until December 1st to begin asking children, "What would you like for Christmas?" I observe. Usually, this observation actually lasts all year long! I'm always on the look-out for what my kids are drawn to in the store when allowed to leisurely (just) browse for a few minutes after my shopping is complete. I also pay close attention to what they enjoy playing with at a friends house or what gifts they've ooohed and ahhed over as a guest at a birthday party. And, of course, I listen to what my kids tell others what they'd like for Christmas. They rarely, if ever, hear those words uttered from my mouth. I suppose since it's a given that they'll get gifts on Christmas day - why make such a fuss about what they WANT rather than focusing more on being thankful for what they get.
Which leads to the moderation bit. I'm so pleased with how the gift philosophy we've adopted over the last few years has worked out. Each child gets 4 gifts in addition to a few small tokens and treats in their stocking.
What are they?
1. Something they WANT
(that I've learned through observation)
2. Something they NEED
3. Something to WEAR
4. Something to READ
I first heard of this idea about 2 years ago from my dear friend, Amy.(we first met as young brides when our husbands were in seminary together!) I think they may have stuck to 3 gifts to mirror the gifts that Jesus got from the 3 Wise Men - which is also a very cool idea!.
It seems to really be taking off as a way of simplifying gift-giving. I've also seen a great post about it at Simple Kids.net
It's SO freeing to have settled in my mind what types of things they'll be getting and I think it'll be comforting for my children to know what everyone is to expect from us year to year as well. Also, it's my hope that getting fewer gifts will cause them to value what they do get all the more.
If you do feel as if you need to ask your children what they'd like (for example if your kiddos are closer to the teen years) I like Sarah's approach that she shared in her recent post, Quieting the "I Wants"- asking kids to list their top THREE ideas - rather than an endless list of , "I wants" to prevent that ugly 'gimmie' attitude.
If you're considering adopting the WANT, NEED, WEAR, READ philosophy for your own family, don't forget about my current GIVE AWAY with Author, Donna Perugini!
On a personal note, I'm so excited about the gifts my boys will get from us this Christmas . Truly, the gifts that my boys are getting that fall into the 'want' category are pretty extraordinary (from our budgetary perspective, that is). But, we've been blessed in a couple really neat ways that we can honestly observe them as true Christmas Miracles. I have a feeling it's going to be pretty magical and special!
I'll tell you more about that next week, I can't wait!! :)
Do you know what you're giving your children this year?
What ways have you found to prevent 'the gimmies'?
This is a great idea!! It is so hard to teach kids moderation.
ReplyDeleteMy parents followed this idea too. If they had not, we would have been tearing through gift after gift...tossing them aside and looking for more.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas, Heidi!
I can't wait to hear what your boys get. . .you've piqued my curiosity.
ReplyDeleteI love this! I will be adopting this philosophy for all my gift giving. Thanks so much for sharing. I will soon be writing a post and linking back to you. We didn't really have any problems when I was growing up but I just want to reduce some of the clutter and make things a bit more affordable for Christmas and birthdays too!
ReplyDeleteI don't ask and will not ask what they want on Christmas as I feel its a question of enjoying the gift without really expecting that particular something. We only give 2 gifts....one is from Santa and normally a very small token and one from us. Since we don't buy toys during the year its normally that what we buy. Next year was thinking of something slightly different and got the idea from another site. Taking every Sunday Advent, we would put a little gift to the kids where they can find it..maybe a fruit, cookies etc and than the big gift on Christmas day :)
ReplyDeleteVery neat idea! I tend to buy my children group gifts and then stick something individualized in their stocking.
ReplyDeleteI to am a mom that observes throughout the year and oh, I can't wait to see how my boys react to Christmas this year too! I was up in the middle of the night last night just thinking about it. I'll be checking in to see how yours goes too! (:
ReplyDeleteThis is a great idea, Heidi. My little one is still, well, little (16m) so she doesn't really "want" anything yet. So far we managed to keep to the 3 gifts plus stocking stuffers and I'd like to try to keep it that way.
ReplyDeleteI think I'm going to adopt this philosophy for the grandparents and aunts/uncles for Christmas and birthdays. I don't want them buying her a ton of stuff, but it's hard to figure out a way to limit them. Using this little poem is perfect!
Now my son is 5 years old and has a serious case of the Greedy Gimmes I'm so glad Hubby and I talked about Christmas and presents when he was little. It is so much easier if you start early rather than later with gift expectations.
ReplyDeleteWe decided on the 3 gifts from Mom and Dad as well. There there is 1 Santa gift, which is a gift that Mom and Dad would never agree to buying.
Hubby's family has a HUGE annual Christmas Eve party where Santa shows up and passes out gifts to the kids. This is always a movie. Stocking stuffers were big in my family when growing up but not so much with us.
Christmas Eve also brings a new book and pajamas.
That is a total of 7 things from us over the holidays. Now extended family is a different matter altogether.
What great tips. Love the observation one, because isn't that truly the best way to learn what your kids like? I've been keeping a little folder in Evernote called 'gift ideas" and dropping links in there throughout the year. There were several things in there that I had forgotten about by the time Christmas rolled around. We told our kids that they would be getting two presents each this year and they were totally fine with that.... I was the one that had the hard time not overbuying because I saw so many things I wanted them to have! Love your idea of the Want, Need, Wear, Read and maybe we'll try that out for next year.
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
And BTW, that picture made me laugh really hard.
ReplyDeleteFabulous, thank you for sharing. I really like the want, need, wear, read idea. My hubs (husband) and I were just discussing this very topic last night!!! We hold different ideas about gift giving at Christmas.
ReplyDeleteAlso, thanks for dropping by my blog and leaving a comment. I love to hear from people. :) I hope all is well (and not too cold) with you. :)
Kindest regards,
Brook
www.Matt5verse6.blogspot.com